All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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