no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
