is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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