you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
