I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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