Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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