And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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