i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
