How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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