how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
