I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
