well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
In America we eat man semen.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
