Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
