plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
