so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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