Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
