It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
