You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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