allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
