Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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