Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
