Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
