i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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