Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
