so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
