She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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