I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize