this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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