normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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