I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
