is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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