this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
