I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
