He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
