Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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