I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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