You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
