Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
