There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
