I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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