he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
