I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
