i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
