Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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