Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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