my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you had me at cake vodka
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
