angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
