I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
