my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
