Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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