REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
