we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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