did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
