bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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