She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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