I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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