What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
