i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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