She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
