You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
