My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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