yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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