my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
