He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
