Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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